Health Care Plan

Let me get this straight......we've passed a health care plan written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president that also hasn't read it and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke.




What the hell could possibly go wrong????

I Need a Laugh

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper . So, I figure if I have to roll my own .. ......... so does she.

I Need a Laugh

This guy walks into a bar and sits at the bar looking sad,
the bartender comes over and says "what can I getcha?",
the guy says "just bring me the bottle",
the bartender asks "rough day eh?",
The guy says "yep, just talked to my son and he told me he's gay".

Next week the guy goes into the bar and sits at the bar again,
the bartender says "hey friend what can I getcha?",
the guy says "just bring me the bottle",
the bartender says "oh no, what happened this time?"
The guy says "I just talked to my other son and he says he's gay".

Next week the guy goes into the bar and sits at the bar again,
the bartender walks over and says "hi friend what can I getcha?",
the guy says "just bring me the bottle",
the bartender just looks at him, scratches his head and finally says
"does anybody in yer family like girls?"
the guy just looks at him sadly and says
"yep, just talked to my daughter".......................

This joke is meant only as a joke and not as a judgment towards any gay individuals at all whatsoever so help me God...Sworn to this 14th day of January, 2010

Main Course

ANDI'S GREAT RECIPEE FOR STUFF

Items Needed

1 Lb cheap stuff
1 tsp salty stuff
1 tsp peppery stuff
1 tsp lemon juicy stuff
1 tsp vinegary stuff
1 tsp cinamony stuff
1 tsp chilli powdery stuff
1 tsp cummin stuff (yes it's a seasoning)
1 tsp garlicy stuff
1 tsp oreganoy stuff
1 tsp sugary stuff
1 cup floury stuff
1 cup cornmealish stuff
1 cup beer - for the chef
2 cans tomatoe soup
4 slices of bread
4 slices of cheese
the last three items can be increased depending on how well you want the kiddos fed

Instructions:

Combine all items except soup, bread and cheese, let simmer about 30 mins... when the kids come in and say ewww what is that stuff... tell them it's Andi's stuff but, if they're hungry there's a coupla cans of soup and some bread and cheese to make themselves some soup and cheese sandwiches or you would be more than happy to serve them the stuff instead.

CAUTION:

If one of the kids decides to taste the stuff...call 911 immediately. Your welcome. Always happy to help out the mommies any way I can :-)